Jan 26, 2006, 12:53
I may have mentioned it before, but, just for laughs, here it is again.
THE WEDDING FROM HELL
Yes, I shoot weddings, and recently NN and I have been discussing pricing structures, contracts and all the boring stuff. That reminded us both of THE WEDDING FROM HELL. :o
I visited the B&G, as one does, well in advance. Being the trusting Terrier I am, (was), I asked only for a VERY small upfront fee, and when I say small, I mean small. A gesture really. Only enough to buy a Bigmac and fries.........:|
This goodwill payment took them weeks to send, and then for some totally unknown reason, they gave it to the Vicar.:/
No matter. The B&G say they have £250 reserved for buying pics, so I'm not fussed. I charge, (well, I USED TO), on a print basis, so people pay what they will......................
The wedding.
Bride is late. Not in the traditional way, oh no. I mean, she's LATE. Then her mother goes walkabout, (probably buying a small bottle of Whisky or something. :|
The church is decorated with flowers, nice but not OTT. The Vicar is an evangelical type, quite outspoken.
At the end of a ceremony where no-one seemed to care, sing, pray or smile, the families took money OUT of the collection in my sight! :o
At the reception, which was in a social club, in a very run-down area, the bride and her mother complained BITTERLY, that the F**kin' vicar kept talking about God, and not "getting on with it." :mad:
Then, they complained about the flowers, which, it turned out, the church had GIVEN to the B&G free. They described them as "pathetic" and "not what you would expect."
As photographer, I was meant to stay for 2 to 3 hours. The brides mother, however, vanished again, and I had to wait for her to return. While I waited, the guests subjected me, and NN, to insults and "the cold shoulder." We had to wait out in our car, in fact!
The group shots HAD to be taken at this "venue." Let me describe it to you.....
On one side, the shed. This large shed-like mess was the reception venue.
On the left, derelict buildings with broken windows.
On the right, a wall. A big brick wall.
At the front, a main road.
Facing us, across the road; a bookmakers, a Chinese take-away, a chip shop and a taxi office.
The area to move in? THE CAR PARK. (Full btw). :o:o:o
So, after waiting, being abused, ignored, insulted and bored, NN and I went home to prepare the images.
It took a while to edit out bared bottoms, broken glass, rude gestures and surly looking people, but we did it.
I phoned the B&G about 10 days after the event, and took round the preview images in a folder, probably about 150 or so.
Hey!! I noticed they's aquired a new stereo. "That looks loud," I commented............ "Yes" they said; "Cost us £250............"
Well dear reader, can you guess what happens???????????????
£250 reserved for photo's, £250 spent on a stereo? Hmmmm......................:/
Yep. You got it. I was paid NOTHING. Nothing> Nowt, zero, rugger -all, zip, zippo, sweet you-know-what. :mad:
This ISNT going to happen again...........Ever..............Never............Not..................No!
Hope you had a laugh. I do now, looking back. It was a year or two ago.
THE WEDDING FROM HELL
Yes, I shoot weddings, and recently NN and I have been discussing pricing structures, contracts and all the boring stuff. That reminded us both of THE WEDDING FROM HELL. :o
I visited the B&G, as one does, well in advance. Being the trusting Terrier I am, (was), I asked only for a VERY small upfront fee, and when I say small, I mean small. A gesture really. Only enough to buy a Bigmac and fries.........:|
This goodwill payment took them weeks to send, and then for some totally unknown reason, they gave it to the Vicar.:/
No matter. The B&G say they have £250 reserved for buying pics, so I'm not fussed. I charge, (well, I USED TO), on a print basis, so people pay what they will......................
The wedding.
Bride is late. Not in the traditional way, oh no. I mean, she's LATE. Then her mother goes walkabout, (probably buying a small bottle of Whisky or something. :|
The church is decorated with flowers, nice but not OTT. The Vicar is an evangelical type, quite outspoken.
At the end of a ceremony where no-one seemed to care, sing, pray or smile, the families took money OUT of the collection in my sight! :o
At the reception, which was in a social club, in a very run-down area, the bride and her mother complained BITTERLY, that the F**kin' vicar kept talking about God, and not "getting on with it." :mad:
Then, they complained about the flowers, which, it turned out, the church had GIVEN to the B&G free. They described them as "pathetic" and "not what you would expect."
As photographer, I was meant to stay for 2 to 3 hours. The brides mother, however, vanished again, and I had to wait for her to return. While I waited, the guests subjected me, and NN, to insults and "the cold shoulder." We had to wait out in our car, in fact!
The group shots HAD to be taken at this "venue." Let me describe it to you.....
On one side, the shed. This large shed-like mess was the reception venue.
On the left, derelict buildings with broken windows.
On the right, a wall. A big brick wall.
At the front, a main road.
Facing us, across the road; a bookmakers, a Chinese take-away, a chip shop and a taxi office.
The area to move in? THE CAR PARK. (Full btw). :o:o:o
So, after waiting, being abused, ignored, insulted and bored, NN and I went home to prepare the images.
It took a while to edit out bared bottoms, broken glass, rude gestures and surly looking people, but we did it.
I phoned the B&G about 10 days after the event, and took round the preview images in a folder, probably about 150 or so.
Hey!! I noticed they's aquired a new stereo. "That looks loud," I commented............ "Yes" they said; "Cost us £250............"
Well dear reader, can you guess what happens???????????????
£250 reserved for photo's, £250 spent on a stereo? Hmmmm......................:/
Yep. You got it. I was paid NOTHING. Nothing> Nowt, zero, rugger -all, zip, zippo, sweet you-know-what. :mad:
This ISNT going to happen again...........Ever..............Never............Not..................No!
Hope you had a laugh. I do now, looking back. It was a year or two ago.
Cave canem
